I got to say...being a father to two young boys is not easy!!! Nobody gave me a "Guide to being a good father of a 6 year old" book. I am not complaining about having kids, but I am just voicing my concern as I try to learn (and believe me, I am reading like crazy books about parenting, techniques, praying and asking God constantly)
It is understood that we will get some payback from what we did, but we seldom think about it until we start seeing in our "babies" some similar attitudes and ways of doing things. Yes, it is very difficult to relate to what I am saying for some of you, but for some others, you know that feeling of incompetence, of anxiety, of seeing things not turn out the way you think should turn out with your children...
I have realized lately that I have to be more focused in my parenting, on my "fatherhood" due to the fact that my two boys will take most of my traits, most of my attitudes towards life, most of my ways of handling things, most about my reaction to life. That in itself is a scary responsibility and I pray and pray for wisdom and guidance from God and His word for that. But even then, some days I feel helpless...
Today, after seeing some of the things that are going around in the news, I was confronted with the reality that our world is becoming a "battleground" between good and evil more clearly. It has been that way, but clearly the devil has upped the ante in deliberately putting forth his agenda. What I mean is, the more I see some of the stuff on the internet, tv shows, and social media, I realize that his agenda is getting out there: Sex, drugs, fame and money, disrespect for authority (including disrespect for all things God), and many others.
This thing from the MTV VMA's that some, if not most of you have seen or heard about through internet or TV, has shaking my head. Reading about what Miley Cyrus aka "Hannah Montana" presented herself with before millions of people, I cannot help but be a little fearful. I was reading an interview that surfaced about her dad from 2007 (link here http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/08/26/does-a-2007-glenn-beck-interview-with-miley-cyruss-dad-help-explain-her-gratuitous-mtv-performance/) and what caught my eye in the interview was about how Billy Ray Cyrus was asked about his role as a father. He said he was her buddy and the mother was the disciplinarian and that's how they worked it out.
I don't want to get on anybody's bad side in regards of how you parent your children, but even if you have that agreement, you still need to be a parent!!! I am friends with my sons, they are everything that God has given my wife and I and we are grateful for that privilege, but even though I want the best for them and I feel that they need to have everything they need, I also feel the responsibility of having them understand and grow in a way that they see the whole picture, not only what they want, but what they need. I know that some of you have it all down and some of us are still working through some things, but my point here is that I need to recognize that I AM A FATHER first, and a friend second!!! You can work it however you want, but for me, I will sometimes deny my sons ice cream if they do not deserve it (specially after they threw a fit). I will not allow them to watch their veggietales if they did not pick up their lego's...I will not allow them to throw a fit in the middle of the store if we did not buy them what they want...I have to be a FATHER FIRST...
I sometimes receive their replies ("daddy, you are mean") but I can take it and move on because I know I love them so much that I cannot just be their buddy. I can listen to those words and maybe they will hurt a little bit, but in the big scheme of things, I am responsible for them and I know that in the future, with God's help too, they will see what I tried to teach them...Now, don't think that I do not buy them stuff or things like that, but there is a time, there is a process, there is ways for those things.
My point here is, that after hearing about Miley, and by the constant media barrage on things that are not productive or against God's principles, and after working with youth fully for the last year and seeing their struggles and their fight to survive in this world, I can only come to the conclusion that the family unit needs to be there. Father's and mother's are needed to help their children wade the troubles that await them. They are needed to encourage, to lead and to reprimand if needed. They are needed to teach their kids about what is right and what is wrong. They are needed to guide their children to Jesus. Without parents, very few adults will even care for others as we live in a very self centered world...
Father's, mother's, you are needed!!! Step up, pray and ask God for wisdom to help you with your precious ones. For one, I will pray for you and I ask you pray for me as we try to do this!!!
